Headaches, stress and drama OH MY!!!!

Well, the holidays are over and I am SO excited about that.
Let me explain, I love having kids that Mike and I can start our own traditions with. THAT is my number one reason for loving the holidays, what I don't like is all the stress and drama that is ALWAYS included with holidays.

Let's start at the beginning of December, when randomly I started getting bombarded with migraines and the girls got sick which then led to Mike and I being sick as well.
Since this time my cold has turned into a HORRIBLE sinus infection leading to even more headaches and teeth pain due to it being so congested in my nasal cavity. Teeth pain to the point where I actually debated pulling my own teeth!!!

 



So December has been a mix of stress, planning, more stress, fights with family (mine in particular), last minute changes to things which also lead to more stress and anger and sadness.

For the last 2.5 weeks of December I have been sick to my stomach with stress and anger and resentment towards certain people. So much so that I had cramps, stress spots, early monthly "visitor" that lasted extra long, and a lot of pain meds to try to get rid of headaches and insomnia.

Probably the amount of drugs I went through in December lol

I came to the realization this holiday season that from now on I need to plan for us and us alone. No more planning around other people.
Mike and I are tired of always being the ones that need to make the drive out to Ottawa and run around even more while there. This leads to a very tiresome trip and 2 kids that are miserable by the time we are ready to go home.
It's not fair to them or us.

I have lived in Peterborough coming on 7 years now, and I can count on 1 hand...ONE HAND how many times my immediate family has visited.
It hurts the heart when you realize that your best friends have visited more often then your own family. Rob and Mal have come down a few times (and are coming again beginning February which is awesome), and Marian, Sean and their kids have been out here more often than my own family too.

I understand that its hard to travel....trust me....we do it at least every 3 months!!! Now with 2 young kids it's even harder to do because there is a lot more to plan for. I have to start planning/packing for a trip he week before we leave, anticipating what we will need or all the "what if" factors as well. ]Formula, bottles, snow pants in the winter, snowsuit for Emma, playpen, blankets for the playpens (cant use massive blankets in them), snacks for the road for Zoe....etc....and last but not least, what time to leave and where will that get us approximately before Emma's next feed.
All in all, it's a LOT that I don't think people realize is happening.

Long story short, my new years resolution is the following:
1-I a no longer going to make excuses for people who don't want to put forth the effort to see us or the girls when we go down to Ottawa.
We cant please everyone and we need to start making plans for us and not planning around others. We will let people know when we will be going down, but we will not change those plans because someone cant do something which is what we have been doing for a LONG time for trips.
2-I will no longer make excuses for my family as to why they do not come to visit us here in PTBO.
I tend to always say things like "well, my mom doesn't like to drive for long periods, my dad doesn't drive for long periods and has a dog, my sister has the kids and goes to the cottage during the summer, my sister and mom are allergic to cats" etc....
Enough with the excuses. I am family too, and they can make an effort to come here too. I am NOT the only one that needs to do this.
Ptbo has a bus station, we have the train station close that we could EASILY pick people up from, and space in our new house will always be available and made for people, and I always have allergy meds on hand as I have allergies in the winter months as well.

I have officially come to the realization that there is no more trying to make everyone around me happy (though it's ingrained in me and obviously I am not changing who I am), what I mean is I am doing things for US as a family FIRST, and others second.

Yes this is the way it should have been all along....but it's hard to stop doing something that you have done your whole life.
So let's hope that 2013 brings less stress, less sickness, and more happiness and visits to US!!!

:)


So in closing....this picture is exactly how I feel about the holidays

 

Lets hope for a better holidays this year! (I'm thinking of doing our Christmas with our families end of November to avoid all the drama and stress!!!! GENIUS I know!!)